Leading AF: What to do when something new is coming in but the old stuff won't wiggle free.
My oldest has her first tooth coming in. She has been waiting for a visit from the tooth fairy since she turned five and the day is finally approaching. (Remind me after this to order tooth fairy letters on Amazon!)
But there is something standing in the way for her…
Her baby tooth isn’t even loose.
She has started to wiggle, we are eating our weight in apples, and she has seriously considered her dad’s suggestion of the old “string on the door knob” approach.
We FaceTimed my mom for a consult on what to do next (she's a 30+ year pediatric dental assistant, and no I did not have cavities as a kid), P looked up at me so honestly and said…
“I thought my baby tooth would just fall out.”
She was so confused as to why she had to go to such great lengths to get this darn tooth out.
She assumed it was something that just happened.
None of her friends had ever talked about having to wiggle their tooth incessantly or go to the dentist to have it taken out.
Quick side note: I have this TERRIBLE habit of making everything about leadership coaching and adult development.
I’m obsessed with finding ways to connect with broader ways of making sense of things and then talking about it with anyone who will listen.
So as this was unfolding at bedtime earlier this week, I thought immediately how this is EXACTLY like when you get the promotion, the new job, the big project, the larger team, something comes up that you have been waiting for but you still have your same way of looking at things. You still make sense of things the same way.
Your proverbial business card changed but YOU haven’t!
And just like with my daughter it can hurt as the new thing comes in and you are still holding onto a way of doing things, thinking about things, and being in things.
When the new thing comes in, you could wait for the dentist (your boss, the board, stakeholders) to come in and force this growth upon you with seminars, workshops, online course…
OR
You could wiggle it yourself.
Loosen your grip on the way you have done things in the past, the way you have shown up in the past, the way you have succeeded in the past and create a whole new space (see what I did there?) for becoming everything you want to be in your role.
Coaching does that.
Investing in your own growth and development does that.
Increasing, on purpose, the questions you ask, the perspectives you take, and the sense you make of things does that.
Don’t get dragged to the dentist kicking and screaming and have someone else make you create space for these things.
Wiggle the damn tooth. Make room, wiggle free from what you have done in the past and step into the unknown!
So, back to P…
Three days later, the tooth is still in here, we are still wiggling it and I am still yet to get those letters ordered, prayers for 1 day shipping tomorrow!
And if you want to create some space to become visible as a creative thinker and thought leader…
If you want to move towards having the courage to ask unasked questions…
If you want to build the confidence to test untested assumptions…
If you want to discover your voice and bring up new or ignored perspectives…
Lead On!